In the depths of my mind is a box full of things; monsters and nightmares and creatures with wings. Beings with claws and murderous shrieks. Venomous fangs and blood drenched teeth. A crate filled with terror and horror and screams. But the scariest beastie inside it is… Me.
Not me now, not the me that you see. Not the me that stands tall and screams she is free. In the box in my mind where I bury her still is a soul-sucking phantom deprived of free will.
You’d imagine a fiend of terrible power but truth be told this monster’s a coward. A weak little thing whose strength never flowered. Her silence compliance, her voice overpowered.
A sad, tiny being, this me from the past, with tear-stained, dead eyes and a gaze downcast. A pliable thing, so easy to chast. She had to be banished for this me to last.
It happened in moments and snippets of time, finding a voice much stronger than mine, tightening her bindings with every ‘crossed line‘. I bound her and caged her and tossed her inside; ignoring the sounds of her pitiful cries.
I buried her down with the memories that creep, the serpents and scoundrels and things of the deep. Now only my demons can hear her weep.
Now and again she claws at the walls, rattles the bars, and starts to poke holes. But I shove her back down and gag her with rage and patch up the walls and lock up the cage.
The cage in the box in the depth of my mind, with monsters and devils and me locked inside.