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Intense; a love letter.

‘I’m hard to love but I love so hard’ -Daisy Gray: Down For You R, All my life I’ve been told I’m hard to love. I’m hard to love, but I love so hard.I thought that maybe I was hard to love because I love so hard.But I don’t know how to love any other…

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The Perishing of Purpose

Today was the day I realized that the passion I had for what I believed was my purpose is…gone. Today I realized that deep within my soul, where there was once a raging fire, there is naught an ember to be found. The sparks of joy I once had, ignited by dutifully fulfilling my calling,…

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A night of new toys…

‘Humble.’ One word from his perfect mouth and she is on her knees, head resting on forearms, ass on full display. The deep purple lights are slightly disorienting as the blood rushes to her head; maybe she should have taken that a little slower, but she’s just too damn eager to please him. The lights…

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In retrospect…

I survived. Maybe that’s because I never really wanted to die, only to kill something within. I didn’t know there were other ways to free myself. I was unaware that I could set my shattered soul aflame and rise again; lungs billowing smoke and ash covered wings. I didn’t know I could fly. Or spit…

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Morningstar

Oh Darling, how you prayed for me. How you begged; Lord, send me an angel! Someone to guide and walk beside me. Someone to have and to hold and to keep and to love. And so I came to you; arms wide open, beating heart in hand. An angel indeed, fealty on raw knees. A…

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‘Collared’

(BDSM) A fitted braid of silver, A petite cluster of rings-(an illusion of Celtic remembrance),the glistening circle nestled perfectly in the hollow of her throat.Innocent. Innocuous. Just a pretty necklace…to the unknowing eye. Take note of the clasp. Or lack thereof. The unique closure with no release. The simple hoop.Innocent?Innocuous? she is Collared.she is Owned.she…

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I am . . .

I am a purple vase of sunflowers; slowly decaying on a dining room table.I am a beard of Spanish moss dangling from a Florida tree; a home to snakes, and new bird nests. I am teal blue ocean waves and white sand covered toes; a pile of broken shells left to the tides. I am…

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Breathe

(TW- SI) The voice calls softly, from far away. ‘Breathe’.I am suspended here, deep in the cold. I am content; the world around me hazy and glistening.‘Breathe’ it calls again.I open my mouth. I let it fill my nostrils, but I can’t draw it in. My tongue tastes bitter and chemical. ‘Breatheeee’ it chimes, so…

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The thing about writing is…

The thing about writing is…. It’s fucking hard! I have a million things to say; but allowing myself to put them on paper is a most difficult thing. The majority of what I want to say and want to share with the world are at least rooted in my own true tales. The stories of…

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Intimacies

Someone asked me recently why I would write about such intimate things and post them for the world to see. Well, for starters a lot of what I write is fictional; or is it? I suppose that is for you to decide. Anywho… I decided to share a few of the truer intimacies between He…

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What’s in the Box?

In the depths of my mind is a box full of things; monsters and nightmares and creatures with wings. Beings with claws and murderous shrieks. Venomous fangs and blood drenched teeth. A crate filled with terror and horror and screams. But the scariest beastie inside it is… Me. Not me now, not the me that…

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Lovers Past and Present

The practice of taking inventory is supposed to teach us about ourselves. I considered taking inventory of the books on my shelf and what each means to me. I thought about listing each job I’ve had and left and what I learned from each. But ultimately, today felt like a day to inventory something deeper.…

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Validation, Affirmation, Praise…

Validation seeking. Praise kink. Affirmation therapy. Call it what you will; we all want to know we’ve done well. For me, it’s all of the above. And all for different reasons. I seek validation; it is a known flaw in my character that has been a part of me for as long as I can…

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Commonality

A chance meeting, an unfamiliar place, a strangers face. You find kindred spirits in the strangest of places. Or at least I do. Or have. Or am… I digress. Conversations with a stranger leading to talks with a friend. A polite handshake turning to familiar hugs goodbye. The tip of a hat to a kiss…

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Good Night. Good Girl.

“Don’t stop… Please, don’t stop”, I beg. “Please don’t stop, please don’t stop.” He mocks my plea, his voice pinched and forcefully high. “Please don’t stop. Pathetic” he growls the last word, enunciating each syllable. My blood heats as he pushes and pulls and twists harder with every word. The sound of his mocking voice…

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Indescribable

How do you describe the indescribable? Sunsets over mountaintops.An infants first laugh. A true loves first touch.A devastating heartbreak. A picture may capture the likeness of sight; but, nameless colors and textures no artist can replicate. A video may let you relive the moment but the sound will never vibrate inside you the way it…

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doubt

Recently my youngest started asking questions like- ‘Are you sure this is okay to do?’‘Are you sure this is safe?’‘You’re sure Mommy?’ Instead of leaping from the couch cushion to her blanket island floating in a sea of ‘lava’ she now pauses and calculates the distance; ‘Are you sure I can make it that far?…

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Contrast

He speaks of me like I’m something to be envied, coveted, and desired. I am flawless and exist in a state of perpetual perfection in his imagination. He knows the depth of my damage; yet never tells of my failings. He speaks to me with reverence; eternal respect, unending support. As if his eyes see…

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Take it

You’re toying around on your phone when he comes in from his shower. Laying on your stomach facing away from him, your naked body exposed. He greets you, and you ‘hmm’ in response. Silence. Then the sound of a drawer being opened. No rustling of clothes. CRACK!The sound registers in your ears before the sting…

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Was? Is.

I had a girlfriend once. And a boyfriend. And a husband. Yes, at the same time. Yes, they all knew about each other.No, they weren’t all together too.Well, my husband and my girlfriend were. And my boyfriend was my girlfriends husband. So we were all together in some ways I suppose. Were? Was?Were… Was… It…

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Processing…

(TRIGGER WARNING- SA) I was told recently that I ‘take a long time to get over things’. And I know it wasn’t meant in malice, or said to make me feel any sort of way; but the truth is, it hurt. A lot. From the outside I can see how it would seem that I…

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To Be(lieve), or Not to Be(lieve)

The trick is to never let yourself believe them. Care for them, let them make you laugh, let them win you over.Give them hope and promises for forever. But never believe them when they say they’re going nowhere. Want them, want their bodies and their hearts and their smiles.Earn them. Take them. Hold them. Fuck…

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Sub Space

They say it over and over- You just seem so independent. (You never ask for help)You’re a strong woman.(You’re maybe a little cold) But you’re such a control freak.(Everything has to be done your way) Why would you let a man treat you that way?(Why do you like being bound, beaten, and degraded like that?)…

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Heartbeats

Thump, thump, thump. He catches her eye and she smiles at him. He waves. She waves back. Beautiful eyes she thinks. Cute kids he thinks. They both keep walking. Thump, thump, thump. She pours his coffee, he asks her name.Which pie’s the best? A quick banter. A slice of cherry.A bill brought, a tip left.…

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Earthquakes

His eyes- cobalt spheres, a deep blue depth; enticing, luring, beckoning towards the abyss of an unfamiliar darkness, a chasm of hunger and want. The darkness in his eyes a stark contrast against cream skin. Thick sun-kissed stubble frames the dusty rose curve of his lips. A bright easy smile envelopes a devious tongue. His…

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Prayers

I believe that the preacher man is trying to save my soul and if I was just a little bit better, a little quieter, a little less me, I would be safe from an eternity of torture and pain.

I believe, because I am told to believe.

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Never Touching; Touching Everything.

Headlights cut through the flitting snowflakes through my window. My heart races. He’s here. Why is he here? He left a party. Left his buds. Left the booze. For what? Supernatural reruns. Stale Doritos. A worn merlot loveseat. Snoring, slumbering toddlers; one wall away. Sobriety. Reruns. Toddlers…. Why is he here? Our hands rest inches…

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Broken Toys

If you heard the thoughts in my head,You would think me mad. Defective. A limbless baby doll, swept under the bed.Forgotten. A racecar with missing wheelsbeneath the stove.Discarded. A teddy bear with no stuffing,between the couch cushions.Abandoned. If you knew every tear that I shed, you would think me damaged.Broken. No one plays with broken…

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Storms

(adult theme) His eyes, like the evening cerulean skies before a cleansing rain; cloaked in a mist of slate. A playful gaze, but full of intrigue, danger, and desire. The storm in his eyes a flawless accompaniment to the iridescence of his smile. Flashes of auburn in a dark beard compliment full, broad, apricot lips.…

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Wanderer

You are sewn from the sinews of pain, chaos, and despair collected from the beasts encountered in your travels. Constructed with stones of hunger and pebbles of hope picked up from the path along your way. Saltwater tears of joy and desperation fill your veins. Your heart beats, like the seas, to the push and…

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‘Collared’

(BDSM) A fitted braid of silver, A petite cluster of rings-(an illusion of Celtic remembrance),the glistening circle nestled perfectly in the hollow of her throat.Innocent. Innocuous. Just a pretty necklace…to the unknowing eye. Take note of the clasp. Or lack thereof. The unique closure with no release. The simple hoop.Innocent?Innocuous? she is Collared.she is Owned.she…

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Musings

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Mom Guilt

“Guilt isn’t always a rational thing, Clio realized. Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.” Maureen Johnson– Girl at Sea Exhibit A(There is ALWAYS more Mom guilt) Mom guilt. You feel it. All moms do. And maybe dads do as well, but they don’t talk about it. You know the feeling… When…

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Home

Hoo Did What?! I’m Hales Hoo. And I do… a lot. In this domain, I am a caffeine addicted, sunlight deprived, manic chaotic writer. In the outside world I’m a nurse, mom, wife, paranormal investigator, sub, and all around hot mess express. While I have no genre here, my goal is to finish my first…

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